Monday, May 19, 2008

Dumbfuck Radio

Conservative Girls Smell Funny

Ugh. I just endured the first half of “Girl on the Right” Wendy Sullivan’s ghastly new webcast called “Brass Balls Radio” that is… well, no need to reinvent the wheel, so let’s have our friend and fellow glutton for punishment Balby describe it for you:

“It’s the usual kinda blogcast-bad — a long, smarmy, self-important, unfocused, ill-informed and not very funny conversation between two folks, stitched together with clumsy edits when they run out of stuff to say. Imagine the pointless chatter of your least favourite morning DJs stretched to unbearable length, or overhearing a desultory conversation on a long bus ride between two people trying to impress each other. Her and some older guy who doesn’t really get to say much.”

I forced myself to take a few notes:

On Nancy Pelosi in the Middle East:
“I hear Nancy Pelosi is in Iraq. I believe she’s fighting with the Taliban, although I’m not sure. It’s kind of funny considering she was in Israel the other day. I think it’s quite possible that she just stole secrets and sold them to the little brown people.” [Discussion with her co-host then went on to suggest that Pelosi is “probably giving them suicide bomber tips.”]

On Baby Boomers:
“The most spoiled generation in history. The first generation to go to university and you know… they just don’t know how to live in the real world. They’ve never been hungry. They’ve never had to work for a living. They had everything handed to them.”

“We’ve had the hedonistic generation and in my lifetime, mercifully, they’re going to die. And then we can get back to business as usual.”

On Parenting:
“I should have been beaten way more often. I think my parents were of that generation that was just starting to get out the regular beatings, you know, which was unfortunate.”

“I think my whole life would have been different if I’d been beaten more. I might have gone to college… if I’d been beaten more. You need the abuse.”

On the Bible:
If you do read the Bible, if you read the New Testament, there’s no smiting.”
[Wrong. For example, Acts 23.3: “Then said Paul unto him, God shall smite thee, thou whited wall: for sittest thou to judge me after the law, and commandest me to be smitten contrary to the law?”]

I’m not sure if I can tolerate sitting through the remaining half hour. Further transcriptions may require a team effort of some sort in order to distribute the pain and suffering.