Friday, May 16, 2008

Meet “Trusty” (The Tory Spokesbot)


Need to get a quick read on the position of the Stephen Harper Party of Canada regarding any given issue? Well, look no further than Trusty the Tory Spokesbot!

Trusty isn’t too knowledgeable or accurately informed about… well anything, but when not making shit up out of whole cloth, he’s quite happy to oblige the probing curiosity of his fellow “Conservatives” by reproducing press releases from the PMO’s office — completely verbatim! Plus, true-blue readers can be assured that all the opinions Trusty provides will be entirely uncritical of the Stephen Harper Party of Canada and 100% guaranteed fact-free. That’s right… none of that pesky “reality-based” stuff mucking up the works. And nuance… Ha! Forget that crapola, leftist elitists!

Take Trusty’s latest comprehensive analysis of Dion’s carbon tax proposal with the penetrating title of “Huh?” In it, we learn two things: 1) that the “left-wing” hates the military; and 2) that Liberals “fully endorse” the plan. The first assertion is something that’s apparently so obviously TRUE that no supporting evidence whatsoever is required for this defamatory blanket generalization. As for the “full endorsement” of a carbon tax, that’s sure a surprise to me! Heck, I thought there was actually a lot of debate and discussion over the matter. The Liblogs aggregator is certainly full of different reactions to it and all the news reports I’ve heard indicate that many MPs are quite wary about this emerging plan, the details of which haven’t even been released yet. But no… in the ultra-simple, black and white World of Trusty, Liberals “fully endorse” it. Now, some might call that an outright LIE, but they’d just be those persnickety dweebs who are incessantly quibbling over “the truth” and “reality” and other boring, inconvenient stuff that Trusty simply refers dismissively to as “blah, blah, blah.” Come on, who has time for that annoying nonsense when there’s so much relentless fellating of the Dear Leader to be done?