Speaking of Teh Stupid, meet Sandra Poitras of Sudbury, Ontario, a outstanding representative of the “Timmies demographic” that the STEPHEN HARPER Party tries so desperately to reach with their messaging. Sandra was a lucky winner earlier this year in Tim Hortons’ Roll Up the Rim to Win contest. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to claim her spanky new GPS navigation system because… she failed to answer the “skill testing question” correctly. Not just once, but TWICE!
And what was the “skill-testing question” you ask. No advanced degrees in calculus required here, it was: 8 x 6 - 5 + 9. The correct answer, of course, is 52; something many people could easily work out in their head, or a sum quickly arrived at by any dolt with a calculator. But not Poitras… Oh no. Mind you, her answer was darned close…51; but still, no cigar. Given that these ridiculously simple questions are just a formality required to circumvent anti-gambling provisions of the Criminal Code (Wired has an excellent article on the subject here), the folks at Tim Horton’s gave Poitras a second chance and asked her to re-submit her claim. An opportunity which, with truly breathtaking stupidity, she managed blow by offering up THE SAME WRONG ANSWER!
Just ponder that for a moment and attempt, if you can, to fathom the catastrophic levels of idiocy required to provide the same wrong answer again in the hopes of somehow winning. What on earth was she thinking? For that matter, what was she thinking when naming her son “Keyano Bureau”? Hell, why didn’t she just go all the way and call him “Throat Mangrove Stoat Warbler” or some such thing? Well, in fairness, we’re helpfully informed by the reporter from Sun Media that Poitras has an unspecified “learning disability” which seems like a rather polite way of describing the condition of being a total fucking moron.
A little icing to the stupid cake is added by the Poitras’ huffy indignation when she was first (and yet again) informed that she’d answered the “skill testing” question incorrectly. “I think it’s wrong,” she said. “I didn’t enter a draw. I won it.” (a read of the rules, quickly dispels this misconception, by the way). Accordingly, the woman with the “learning disability” who was too stupid and/or lazy to double-check her answer with a calculator or have a friend verify it, proceeded to “harass” the company until they finally capitulated. “I wasn’t going to back off” Poitras said, describing her triumph.
Self-righteous and obdurately dumb as a bag of rocks… now, if that isn’t the epitome of The STEPHEN HARPER Party’s target demographic, I don’t know what is.